Broken sleep.

1am, 2am, 3am, 4. Drifting in and out of consciousness. Thoughts racing through your head, thinking about anything and everything. Just close your eyes and switch off….sleep god dammit. Your eyelids are finally getting heavier. relief. Your head, heavy. sinks into the pillow. Thoughts slowing, like cars that have seen the amber traffic light preparing to stop. Eyes drooping, closing, heavy. Feels like only seconds have passed and again you are wide awake. This time, cold sweat beads along your brow, shoulders, down the arch of your back. You’re out of breath. Sheets wound clammily around your tired limbs, like cobwebs on the windowsill. Only in your dreams do these thoughts…memories, come to play. “its just a dream, it can’t really hurt you”…Can’t it ? too late, it already has. A nightmare, played out over and over again and you’re the main character. These memories lay dormant in the back of your head all day. Lingering, waiting for you to close your eyes, sleep. So they can erupt once more. As if to say “we’re back” …. Subconsciously. like a rapist,. Lurking in the shadows of an alley, seeking refuge between its dark walls. Waiting for his next victim…weak. You’re weak…..no. Yes…it’s just a fucking dream. Pull yourself together. But you know all too well its not ‘just a dream’. You’ve been that victim. You are that victim.